Online Book Tour- Close Call by Eloise March


I am excited today to have Doris on the blog with a spot of advice, to show you just what all the fuss is about and just who Doris is. Don’t be afraid, she doesn’t bite and it has been proven beyond scientific fact she has no teeth, but her wit is sharp and she does tend to rip into you if you stray away from being true to yourself.

With Valentine’s Day behind us and the lonely hearts club back to drinking wine from a box or perhaps, hitting the clubs again, there are still a lot of gals trying to figure out a way to keep their dignity intact and still find a man who excites them and will make them happy throughout their lives…or at least have a serious and stable relationship with! Maybe even those whose glitterific relationship has lost some of it’s shine needs a bit of a boost!

Are you game? We also will be having a live interview with the Cabin Goddess, Kriss (she is also one of the head Fairies here), and a central Facebook event page where you can post questions for Doris throughout the tour, get updates and links during the tour and ask more info on the novella! Everyone in the know has been itching to see this book get everywhere and in have people join them in reading it and laughing just as hard as they did! You won’t even need cream afterwards.. perhaps a glass of wine and a new boyfriend, but not any cream!


Can Doris describe the perfect guy (or should that be penis)?

Doris: The perfect guy? Bahahahaha. Ahem, sorry. My idea of a close-to-perfect guy and penis (we have to at least aim for something that exists) is one who respects the woman and wants to make her vagina happy too. A man who is honest, loving, tries to do his best — even if he doesn’t always succeed. He also has to be able to say “Yes, you’re right. I was wrong.” If he can’t say this, he isn’t honest and will never learn. And the penis has to be disease-free and not aggressive — I don’t do diseases or violence (as you probably already know).

Book Review
Close Call by Eloise March
RRP: 99c Ebook, $8 physical print
Publication Date: 2013

Wow- where to start with this short, but very entertaining, read? I admit that it was the gorgeous cover that first drew me in. It’s one of those rare covers that actually looks like the cover artist has read the novel and designed accordingly. The author’s goodreads blurb is also pretty accurate. Think cross between Bridget Jones Diary and The Vagina Monologues and you end up with Close Call – a story that dares to ask what would happen if our private parts could talk. Not only does it dare to put our privates at centre stage, author Eloise March goes a brave step further in giving female, rather than male genitalia, the floor. Yes, this is a short, very feminist, novella about a 22 year old named Jemma who just can’t seem to find her Mr Right. Luckily, her vagina, Doris, is able to help (albeit with sometimes disastrous results).

As well as being feminist in giving women and their sexual desires voice in a world that often doesn’t, varied sexuality is also explored in this piece (vagina’s liking vagina’s is discussed). However, I do wonder if homosexuality will come up in later novella’s in the series. I feel like I’d like to see this for the sake of fairness. But that’s not the central concern. This novella celebrates what it means to be ‘woman’ with humour and relatable situations galore. I especially enjoyed the ditzy blonde cousin whose Vagina is called Va Gina and who is just as idiotic and snobby as her ‘owner.’

Close Call is a fun, short and ‘woman’ affirming read. I did laugh reading it on the train next to the conservative looking elderly couple!

The only drawback? This is a fast read and the next in the series isn’t out yet!

Close Call: 4/5 inky stars

And finally… an interview with Dionne Lister AKA Eloise March!

1. Where did the idea for a book about talking genitals start?

On Facebook. I was there one day (well, I’m there every day but we won’t discuss my addiction to social media) and one of those sidebar ads kept taunting me. It was a weight-loss ad, because I’m a woman, Facebook feels I need to be targeted by those things. The ad had a unique way of grabbing attention: it was a picture of an offensive piece of fruit that looked like, well, a person ‘chucking a brown eye’ or a woman spreading her legs. Then I (naturally) thought Imagine if someone put an picture of a vagina on the cover of their book – that would certainly get lots of attention, and then I took it one step further: what if the main character was a vagina?

2. When did you find out you were a feminist?

I’ve always been one, but the realisation hit me when I was at uni – only a couple of years ago. And even then I would never have contemplated writing a book with a talking vagina who wants the best for her woman.

3. What gender issues will you tackle in subsequent books?

There’s so many, and I’m sure I’ll think of more as time goes on, but rape, other violence, sexism in the workplace, and in later books (because there will be a few), the struggles women have juggling work and home and society’s opinions both on working mothers and mothers who don’t contribute enough (italics = sarcasm in case you’re not sure) because they stay home, therefore having it easier than everyone else – which is bloody ridiculous. We can’t win. Why? Because we’re women. I’m also going to explore sexuality – Jemma’s sister is gay – cancer and childbirth.

4. I like that you acknowledged that it’s OK for vaginas to like other vaginas. Will you delve into this more as the series progresses?

Yes. Sam, Jemma’s sister is gay, and I plan to explore the relationships she has and the way society looks at her when she and her partner are out and about.

5. What’s the main message you want men and women to get out of your series.

Well, for a start, I want equality for everyone – not just women, but this seems like a good place to start since we’re at the bottom of the rung, still, after all the efforts by all the people over the years. I want men and women to see through the perfect, sexualized images of women that are everywhere. I want women to feel empowered and make better decisions for themselves, and I want their friends and family to support those decisions. I don’t want women to be objectified, and that goes the same for men too. It seems like everything is grounded in how sexually attractive people are. When did our existence become so focused on sex and how sexually desirable a person is, their worth judged on this fact alone. Men and women: please respect yourselves, stop being so judgmental, embrace difference and support each other. Oops, I’m ranting, sorry *blushes*.

Thanks so much for hosting me on the last day of the tour, Maureen. It’s been lots of fun! And for all the seriousness today, the book really is a light-hearted, humorous read – how can genitals that talk to each other not be funny?

Want to try for a free giveaway? Enter the Rafflecoptor Giveaway Here

Viva la Vadgeventures!


Close Call: A Doris & Jemma Vadgeventure

Close-Call-3D-450Close Call is the first instalment of “A Doris & Jemma Vageventure” series.

Think Bridget Jones Diary and The Vagina Monologues.

Twenty-two-year-old Jemma can’t seem to get her life in order. Her track record with men stinks, she constantly worries about getting fat and ending up a spinster at thirty. And to top it off, she has to be a bridesmaid at her most-hated cousin’s wedding. She feels like her life is over, until Doris decides to help out. Who’s Doris? Doris is Jemma’s vagina and she thinks more of Jemma than her own brain does. Doris is on a mission to save Jemma from herself, but is the task too much for one vagina to handle?

TAGS: Fiction, Chick Lit, Humor, Women’s Lit, Romance

© 2013 Dionne Lister Cover by Sol Pandiella-McLeod

Now available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Smashwords, Kobo, iTunes, and Sony.

Meet Eloise March aka Eloise March

Dionne Lister - 2

Eloise March is a woman who laughs at her own jokes, swears way too much and breaks any new diet by lunchtime on the day she starts. She believes in women’s equality, and all equality for that matter, and hopes the things she writes touch people in a positive way, and make them think about how they can create a better society for themselves and others.

In her spare time, she enjoys living as her alter ego, Dionne Lister — a suspense and YA fantasy author who is way too embarrassed to talk about vaginas. She likes spending time as Dionne because Dionne has an awesome family, wonderful friends and a cat called Lily, oh, and she has great hair.

If you’re looking for Eloise, or any information about future books in the Doris & Jemma Vadgeventure series, you can visit Dionne’s website, where Eloise has been lucky enough to get her own page If you’re looking for a chat, you can find Ms. March on Twitter.

Facebook ~ Twitter ~ Website


Follow the Tour

Monday – 3/3/2014:

Tuesday – 3/4/2014

Wednesday – 3/5/2014

Thursday – 3/6/2014

Friday – 3/7/2014

Saturday – 3/8/2014

Monday – 3/10/2014

Tuesday – 3/11/2014

Wednesday – 3/12/2014

Thursday – 3/13/2014

Friday – 3/14/2014

  • InkAshlings – Book Review, Interview and Ask Doris
  • Final Day of the Tour – Saturday March 14th

    Interview with The Cabin Goddess

    Follow along on FACEBOOK

About InkAshlings

Maureen, Australian, young aspiring writer.
This entry was posted in Author Interview, Genre: Comedy, Genre: Romance, Reviews and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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